The KPI for a successful Hari Raya Aidilfitri in the Wan Zainuddin family is defined as ' zero' number of times our mother complains and cries about how ungrateful and unreligious her children are.
Mothers are like that. They are sensitive little creatures. They want the best for everybody and its hard for them to let go. She would like for her adult children to follow everything she says but unfortunately, we're grown ups and due to that, discord is inevitable.
For many years, 'something' would happen during raya to make Mak ( our mother) unhappy. And an unhappy Mak would mean a rambling Mak.
Few steps were taken by us to achieve such a feat pre raya, raya and post raya.
1) When her religious sermon is turned on the dvd at maximum volume, leave it on! Do not change to Astro.
2) Ask stupid questions on anything even though you know the answer and have asked the same question the year before. An example, ' Macammana mak masak ketupat ni?' She'll repeat the same answer even though its been answered 30 time before.
3) Rush to the kitchen 2 hours before any meal time to set the table and try to cook.
4) Rush to the wash the dishes after mealtime
5) When she makes fun of you in front of relatives, smile even though you feel like crap.
6) Whenever she says anything annoying, smile and change the subject.
7) Always be concern about prayer time in front of her. Make a fuss out of it.
8) Talk about religion.. a lot.
9) If you are a female in the family, do not arrive home after 9pm if you go out with your friends. That will equate you to a prostitute.
10) Do not turn on MTV or any other channel that exhibits unnecessary flesh as well as kissing or illegal contact between men and women.
11) Always know when her indonesian drama's are on. Never change the channel during that time
12) Always turn on RTM1 during Azan Maghrib.
13) Dont wear shirts that fall above your waist that exhibit your ass even though your ass is covered with your jeans.
14) Dont slam the door. That annoys her.
15) Give her money and even though she turns it down, force her to take it.
16) If she wants to visit any relative, go.
17) Laugh at her jokes.
18) If she tells you to eat Gano pills, eat it. Dont question. Its for your health.
And, those are our tips for making our mom happy during Hari raya.
We shall be using recycling it next year but hopefully, i have a husband to do that for me next year. Penat siot bodek sendiri.... For sure..
The Wailing (2016)
7 months ago